Giving and Accepting Help

Giving and Accepting Help Is Vital to Your Success
"It now appears that Help is the make-break point between sanity and insanity." -- L. Ron Hubbard

You can have many problems regarding the subject of help, two of which are:

1. Fear of being helped
2. Frustration when trying to help others

The second problem occurs with doctors, consultants, accountants, teachers, church leaders, attorneys, counselors, employers, employees, family members and others. You try to help people, but they reject your help.

For example, if you are wealthy, your friends and family members might ask you for loans. But if you are smart, instead of giving loans, you offer a better form of help: financial education.

Successful investors want others to make money through investments. They agree with the ancient Chinese advice, "Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime."

Whenever these investors' family and friends accept this help, they also become wealthy. However, sometimes, they reject this help. They say, "Investing is too hard" or "It's too risky" or "I don't have the time."

Physicians also have this problem. They tell patients to stop smoking, eat more vegetables and exercise. Patients often reject this helpful advice and just want drugs. In fact, some patients change doctors if they don't get the drugs they want.

You might know several ways to help people with your advice. And when people will not listen to your advice, you probably feel frustrated. You might even give up on giving help. You might say, "To heck with them!" "They don't deserve my help." "I'm too good for them."

If the frustration gets worse, you might even feel a little crazy. You cross over the make-break point between sanity and insanity!

Another reason people dislike help is when they are betrayed.

Help Becomes Betrayal

You trust someone and then they stab you in the back. They betray you and so you stop trusting them. If enough people betray you, you decide to not trust anyone.

As a result, when people say they can help you, you immediately worry they cannot be trusted.

Betrayal, disguised as help, is common in this society. For example, you hear someone is depressed and so goes to a psychiatrist for help. A few weeks later, they are either taking a psychiatric drug or feeling more depressed than ever. You learn a lesson. If you feel depressed, do not seek help!

Con artists take advantage of you by pretending to offer help. "I know how you can double your money in one month! You can't lose!"

A few weeks later, the con artist, and your investment, are history.

Business owners often feel damaged by employees they trust. "Don't worry boss, you can count on me!" Employees often feel the same way about business owners. "I'll give you a raise as soon as the company is doing better."

If you are betrayed too often, the world seems against you. You feel alone. You tend to stop people, including yourself, from pursuing a brighter future. You discourage risk. You criticize new ideas. You feel afraid of change. Yet you can't give up! You can't close the door to possibilities. You can't lose hope.

Hope
Even if you have been betrayed, you can and should trust most people anyway.
Most people have good intentions. Most people enjoy helping you. Most people are not evil.

The small percentage of people you cannot trust are easy to identify. You just need to know the signs of the anti-social personality.

Seven Healthy Attitudes about Help

1. Rejecting help does not improve your life, but closes the door to opportunities.

2. Being too "proud" to accept help has nothing to do with pride and everything to do with past betrayals.

3. Too much self-reliance or self-dependence limits your success. Being an island burns you out.

4. Seeking help does not mean you have failed, but is a sign of intelligence.

5. Depending on people is healthy and vital to your long-term success. Everyone who is famous, wealthy or wildly successful proudly admits they had a great deal of help. No one succeeds on their own.

6. People are basically good. Most of them have good intentions. They are worthy of your help.

7. Freely giving help and freely accepting help are signs of sanity. Both are essential to your success.

Recommendations

If giving or receiving help is not easy for you, deliberately do the following two steps every day.

1. Find a way to receive help from someone.
2. Find a way to help someone.

After one week, notice how you feel.
Keep giving and receiving more and more help until you are enjoying more success. You will also feel great!

Thought For The Day

Everything has its beauty but not everyone sees it.It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop.Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in getting up every time we do.

If a man takes no thought about what is distant, he will find sorrow near at hand.Things that are done, it is needless to speak about…things that are past, it is needless to blame.What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others.When you know a thing, to hold that you know it; and when you do not know a thing, to allow that you do not know it - this is knowledge.To go beyond is as wrong as to fall short.

How Do You Handle Life's Roadblocks?

When you are stopped while trying to accomplish something, how do you respond? How do you handle the frustration?

For example, you want to be a professional piano player. You take piano lessons, practice for two hours every day and learn as many songs as possible. You play at a friend's wedding and feel ignored. You audition to play at your church services, but do not get selected. Your mother even says, “Maybe you should take up water colors.” What do you do?

Maybe you cry and feel sorry for yourself. “Boo-hoo! I feel so bad!

”Perhaps you blame others. “My teachers were so bad that I'll never succeed.”

Or maybe you blame yourself. “I'm such an idiot! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!”

Many people like to drown their sorrows. “To heck with it! I'm getting drunk.”

Some prefer depression or apathy. “Life isn't worth living. I'm going to watch TV all day.”

Finding excuses is popular. “My fingers were sore.” “The music is too old.”

“People just don't appreciate fine piano playing.”

And of course, many people just give up. “I'm not going to play the stupid piano. In fact, piano players are losers.”

How do you handle life's roadblocks?

Intention,“Intention is like a landmark.”

“If you were traveling through unfamiliar country toward a snow-capped mountain, you would find that you sometimes took a wrong turn, but as long as you could see the mountain, you would make progress toward it. Sometimes obstacles would get in your way. Sometimes they would even hide the mountain from you. But there is one thing that would not happen. You would not forget to look for the mountain. You would know that you could not reach the mountain by forgetting its existence. You would laugh at the idea of forgetting to look for the mountain.” -- L. Ron Hubbard

For example, despite the obstacles, you would not lose sight of your goal to be a piano player. You would ignore the losses and stay focused on the goal. “I will become a fabulous pianist! I'm going to take 200 lessons and practice for four hours a day until I make it.”

Luckily, using intention is not difficult. Constantly looking for the mountain is easy. You just look! Your feet then follow your eyes.

As another example, you own a restaurant and have the goal of $10,000 profit per month. You figure out you will need 200 happy, satisfied customers per day to reach your goal. You keep this mountain in mind at all times.

One day, your chef calls and says, “I got a better job in New York and I'm leaving today. Good luck to you.”

You realize you'll be cooking a lot of food today and feel like closing the doors and going to a movie instead. Yet you look for your mountain. You see 200 happy customers. You intend to reach the goal.

You suddenly remember your mother is a great cook. She has been offering to help out, so you ask her to take over the kitchen for a few days. She agrees and doesn't even want any pay!

You run an ad and hire a new chef by the weekend. You continue hiking up the mountain.

Recommendations

1. Write down your top three goals. If you do not have three top goals, write down three big things you really want.

2. Put these goals where you will see them several times each day. For example, a note taped on your car's dashboard. A note on your computer screen. A postcard in your shirt pocket. A sticker on the inside of your wallet. Anywhere you will constantly see the goal.

3. Every time you get stopped by life's roadblocks, do not get sad. Do not give up. Do not look for excuses. Instead, just look at your goals. Never forget to look for the mountain.

If you constantly look for the mountain, you will persist. You will work to reach it, day and night. You will find the time and energy it takes to reach the top.

No obstacle will be big enough nor strong enough to stop you.

POWER OF MONEY

Friends, make sure you read this story until the end
By Adam Khoo - Singapore's youngest millionaire at 26 yrs.

I travel around the region pretty frequently, having to visit and conduct seminars at my offices in Malaysia, Indonesia, Thailand and Suzhou (China).

I am in the airport almost every other week so I get to bump into many people who have attended my seminars or have read my books.

Recently, someone came up to me on a plane to KL and looked rather shocked. He asked, 'How come a millionaire like you is traveling economy?' My reply was, 'That's why I am a millionaire. ' He still looked pretty confused.

This again confirms that greatest lie ever told about wealth (which I wrote about in my latest book 'Secrets of Self-Made Millionaires'). Many people have been brainwashed to think that millionaires have to wear Gucci, Hugo Boss, Rolex, and sit on first class in air travel. This is why so many people never become rich because the moment that earn more money, they think that it is only natural that they spend more, putting them back to square one.

The truth is that most self-made millionaires are frugal and only spend on what is necessary and of value. That is why they are able to accumulate and multiply their wealth so much faster.

Over the last 7 years, I have saved about 80% of my income while today I save only about 60% (because I have my wife and 2 kids, mother in law, 2 maids etc. to support). Still, it is way above most people who save 10% of their income (if! they are lucky).

I refuse to buy a first class ticket or to buy a $300 shirt because I think that it is a complete waste of money.

When I joined the YEO (Young Entrepreneur's Orgn)a few years back (YEO is an exclusive club open to those who are under 40 and make over $1m a year in their own business) I discovered that those who were self-made thought like me. Many of them with net worth well over $5m, travelled economy class and some even drove Toyota's and Nissans,not Audis, Mercs, BMWs.

I noticed that it was only those who never had to work hard to build their own wealth (there were also a few ministers' and tycoons' sons in the club) who spent like there was no tomorrow. Somehow, when you did not have to build everything from scratch, you do not really value money. This is precisely the reason why a family's wealth (no matter how much) rarely lasts past the third generation.

Thank God my rich dad foresaw this terrible possibility and refused to give me a cent to start my business.

Then some people ask me, 'What is the point in making so much money if you don't enjoy it?'

The thing is that I don't really find happiness in buying branded clothes,jewellery or sitting first class. Even if buying something makes me happy it is only for a while, it does not last.

Material happiness never lasts, it just give you a quick fix. After a while you feel lousy again and have to buy the next thing which you think will make you happy. I always think that if you need material things to make you happy, then you live a pretty sad and unfulfilled life..

Instead, what makes me happy is when I see my children laughing and playing and learning ! so fast. What makes me happy is when I see my companies and trainers reaching more and more people every year in so many more countries.

What makes me really happy is when I read all the emails about how my books and seminars have touched and inspired someone's life.

What makes me really happy is reading all your wonderful posts about how this blog is inspiring you. This happiness makes me feel really good for a long time, much much more than what a Rolex would do for me.

I think the point I want to put across is that happiness must come from doing your life's work (be it teaching, building homes, designing, trading, winning tournaments etc.) and the money that comes is only a by-product.

If you hate what you are doing and rely on the money you earn to make you happy by buying stuff, then I think that you are living a life of meaninglessness.